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EDIT: As of Mon Nov 16 09:39:30 UTC 2020, the post is at [38pts|1c]

About Post:

---	---	Notes
Submission	Girlfriend is an ex member, but wants to join again
Comments	Girlfriend is an ex member, but wants to join again
Author	Flatlinezor
Subreddit	/exIglesiaNiCristo
Posted On	Sat Nov 14 09:40:16 UTC 2020
Score	38	as of Mon Nov 16 09:39:30 UTC 2020
Total Comments	107

Post Body:

Update:
Talk on Tuesday, she has no idea what it might be but she knows its about our future. She said she is gonna cry not knowing for 2 days but I wont budge, I just dont have the heart ro do this on her birthday, tomorrow.
Hello!
I love my girlfriend and we are together for 2 months now. She turns 31 in a few days. She has 2 kids, from a previous marriage with a European guy. You can guess, she has been raised since childhood as an INC member until 24 years old, when she married the guy and the church banished her. (The guy was clever not to convert as we all know here how unhealthy INC is mentally) Her mom died long ago, her father is not a member(only recently kicked out for reasons I won't share) and as far as I know the brother either (educated guy, catholic, not INC whixh is good news, confirmed).
They divorced 5 years later in 2019 because the guy has been screwing half the Philippines beside her, while living in Europe. The girl moved to Europe right after the wedding at age 24 and has been living here since, so no INC for 6 years as far as I am aware. She strongly believes that her marriage did not work out because the guy wasn't an INC member after all. The church obviously kicked her out for forsaking her beliefs as I mentioned earlier. (Thankfully, but I know she doesn't realize they did her a HUGE favor...)
Now, she has been trying to get back to INC after the divorce and since a year she has been attending everything normally (but claims she is not giving offerings) and she hasn't been accepted yet still. Moreover, her INC friends told me she probably won't be accepted again now as they are all aware she is dating me quite seriously. She is not even supposed to be over at my place, let alone have sex etc, you all know the doctrine, which she all does regardless against it and her kids love me as well. I think it's a very fortunate thing that the application is still pending, however I have trouble extending the relationship further without knowing whether she will be able to drop this nonsense completely or not. She has a group of friends of INC that are seemingly with her to be happy but I am sure they are also trying to talk her out of it because of their precious doctrine. (I don't realize any of this by the way as they are not openly hostile or anything. They asked a few times to try bible study and I did once but nothing since. She holds hands in public, lives a somewhat normal life with me, apart from the WS every 2 times a week.)
And another group of friends who are completely with me on she having to drop this because first of all, pursuing this in Europe is a disaster and if she gets to be an INC member again, she surely won't find anyone accepting 2 stepkids and according to their rules, she will stay a single mom forever as within INC she cannot remarry again. Plus by default, finding someone, who is an INC member and single would be relatively hard here on top of this, Filipino or local European also. These "normal" friends are 100% aware just like me that she doesn't need INC to have salvation and be happy and most importantly because I love her and they all hope that she will snap out of it.
She asked me to convert but I told her it would not be genuine and she would know so it's not something I want to do. And honestly, after I did so much research on INC for weeks, I am 100% sure I don't want to join or do anything with it apart from trying to protect everyone I love from it as INC is so clearly and blatantly a fraud. Faith is a beautiful thing and I am 100% supporting her to have it BUT not through some false "church" of Filipino businessmen's agenda, but her own Bible interpretation and open heart for the love of God. INC controls fear so well like politicians do and it's incredibly alarming that she has been to the point of trying to get back to this cancer...i just hope she wants to because she has never been told she should not. I am very sure she will be attacked, mocked and guilt tripped by her INC friends for this and if that happens, she should realize herself something is very wrong. It should be recognized as "not too Christian or Godly". I think the worst part for her would be actually losing those "friends"...
Plus she identifies GOD with INC which , while it's a personality cult of Manalo and is also clearly a bad thing as she has absolutely 0 knowledge of other religions which are a lot more about forgiving and love their members unconditionally and a lot less about keeping military order like presence within the members, worshipping a LIVING PERSON . I mean, during webex, they are CCTV'd, they are social pressured to do the WS service and do offerings (still not convinced she doesn't but I believe her) and so on, it's madness how cult like everything is in INC and the members behavior and she doesn't realize... Once again, faith is a beautiful thing and I am 100% supporting her to have it BUT not through some false "church".
​
I got to LJ Caraang's channel which has lots of nice material, plus this subreddit, to gather infos and try to convince her that she has been lied to since childhood but you can imagine the blank stare face and not having any conversation about this, as she is has been over-and-over told the same crap again, almost completely brainwashed about it. After that I knew it's something very deep as she did not say anything, just listened to what I say and showed 0 emotions. Zero conversation. Very futile looking.
She could exist for 6 years without the religion but even if I tell her many times the previous guy was just being an unfaithful "guy"(67y now) and fucked around and that has nothing to do with whether he wasn't INC or not, she still doesn't hear it. She loves me, that's a fact (I hope) but I never had to deal with so extreme mind control so I need input to handle this the best way for her kids and her. Her kids are not affected too badly as the kids speak the local language here and she doesn't speak it good enough to ap oint that she could harm them with INC, plus the kids don't speak tagalog much or good enough English, so they cannot attend the studies to allow time for INC to get in their heads fortunately. I think I have a fair-to-moderate chance of getting her to realize this is bullshit and if she wants a safe future with me and her kids, she should drop it as it'll never work here in Europe plus her family's salvation is on the line that is !NOT! through INC... And she should care about her kids the most and not let them have the same crap going on as with her.
She loves the church so much she said that is the most important thing for her now, I sometimes feel she'd even abandon the kids for it if needed...which is VERY alarming for me and that was the moment I started to really question whether this is "normal" or not and of course it is not. Yes, she is not the sharpest tool in the box regarding asking questions and being investigative and doubting anything people say to her. Most of her INC friends are very similar, for a reason obviously. Fear and years long indoctrination... She completely lacks any intention of checking facts or doing her own objective thinking as most of the material they preach to them are hand selected from different set of bibles to keep on the usual agenda of keeping the members "obey and shut up" since childhood. She never had a chance. Now she does. I am almost sure she doesn't even own a bible actually! Which is insane, to be spoonfed lies without checking and just believing anything without proof. Faith should not be told how to do...even the bible says that if you hate someone, you are a liar as god loves everyone, so INC stating "if you are not with us, you are against us" is a wolf in sheep's clothing exactly as INC is very clearly bashing other religions to the point it should be so obvious to members its cancerous but still they stay... I became probably 1000x times more educated on what INC isnin a few days than she isnsince childhood, know more about it and see through it a lot better for obvious reasons, I have an objective perspective. It's precious time but if this saves our relationship and her from the shackles of INC, then it was worth it. Countless hours of fact checking, videos, I even opened the bible first time in my life to check the inconsistencies hihlighted everywhere about INC. And this is sad as SHE is the one who should be knowing all this, investigating this, not me.
Should I just not pry on the topic and let everything go as it is, even if I die a bit in my soul every time she does the worship service online on Thursdays and Saturdays? Especially when she cries of the hysterical-theatrical bullshit the tagalog version provides, while she tells me she feels closer to god that time and it's a "good cry"...? And just keep on hoping her INC application will be pending so long that I can actually marry her before she gets accepted or something and then she drops it? I don't think so.
I believe clearing it up right away would be the best solution, to somehow, with all the material and research I did, presenting it to her and with love, convincing her that she will be okay, more than okay, actually FREE finally and have a loving relationship without boundaries... But I want to be free of this looming sword over my hear, to have a happy life for us and our future kid as she is perfect in almost every other way. The decision will be hers on whether she wants it or not.
In a way, I may be "godsend" for her at the perfect moment, not to "let" her rejoin this madness. Not like I want to save someone who doesn't want to be saved but still, I hope she will look at it like that and trust me enough as she did the original husband to cut ties with INC.
Any insight or question I am happy to answer, thanks!

Related Comments (1):

---	---	Notes
Author	Flatlinezor
Posted On	Sat Nov 14 10:12:09 UTC 2020
Score	1	as of Mon Nov 16 09:39:30 UTC 2020
Conversation Size	29
Body	link

2 months exactly. Apart from me finding it strange she had to make a hand written letter and photo it to make an excuse why she can't attend one of the WS's when we had a birthday party of a non INC member friend at night, I did not find it particularly alarming, the WS is "kindof ok" until you look into it deeper. I attended one bible study as her friends encouraged me to try to pick it up but it was so obviously an MLM effort and later on after my questions/research about it taught me the teachings were so inconscise and obviously "just another religion faking to be true faith" that I did not continue.

MMOs have always been my favorite types of games to spend all of my time playing. After playing nearly 10 years of Runescape (quit on RS3 release, and returned for OSRS for 4 years), Maplestory, Flyff, League of Legends, and Path of Exile; I have to say that Black Desert Online has become one of my favorite games of all time.
I started playing BDO back in September, and have accumulated nearly 1400 hours so far (with about only 200 of those hours being afk cooking/processing). I really enjoy no-lifing games and spending absurd amounts of time to reach milestones and achievements (I don't why, I just do). As I stand right now, I am a level 61 Musa, and just began grinding towards 62. I really didn't do much in-depth thinking about what class that I wanted to play because I have always played a polearm/halberd class in every MMO. And even after all the memes that Musa receives, I really enjoy the class in both its PVE and PVP aspects, and I don't see myself ever rolling another class to become my main.
I came to this game after finally getting bored of Oldschool Runescape (but one does not simply quit runescape, it is impossible) and I was immediately drawn in with the abundance of content. What made the gearing stand out to me, was that there were alternatives for (some) best-in-slot items or grinding locations. This is something that many MMOs lack! In oldschool runescape for example, everyone at max combat uses the same items in every situation in order to be most EFFICIENT. This isn't something that really bothers me, because I enjoy having the opportunity to change my builds to be more rewarding/punishing in different aspects. It was very refreshing. Maplestory and League of Legends also went in the direction of punishing build diversity, and pushed for sameness. This is also why I could never get into Overwatch, when everything is the same and I get less and less personal input or decision on what I want to do with a character, the game gets very stale for me.
Having two different kinds of defensive builds is really cool to me! And I hope that as the game progresses, and new content is released, it stays that way. I am also very excited to see the upcoming main-hand kzarka alternative. In my own opinion, I think that sidegrades or situational items, are much healthier to the game than new BIS content that makes things absolete or "DEAD" content.
PVP I LOVE THE PVP IN THIS GAME. A big problem that I had with most other MMOs PVP is that it usually didn't even work at all! Or it had terrible balancing issues because they had to find ways to downscale abilities and damage modifiers to fit player health pools and defenses.
The PVP in BDO for me is so engaging, fast paced, and fluid. The chaining and combos in this game are so fun to pull off, no matter how many times I overuse or spam them every minute.
Matchups and memes aside, I don't have many problems with Musa PVP. I can defend almost every grind spot, and I usually do pretty well in nodewars(30+ kills and 10ish deaths) and RBF on Velia 4 (usually 250-300 points if I don't int feed). I see a lot of people complain about Musa not having a grab, or not being able to WIN IN EVERY MATCHUP, but that's not a problem to me. No class should be able to do everything. Being able to do things that others cannot, is a lot of fun for me. Utilizing what I can do well: mass AOE abilities, supersonic speed, and picking off back-line squishies, is really enjoyable. The only problems that I have in PVP are sometimes vs Valks, Warriors, and Zerkers. And I am fine with not being able to beat them most of the time. I hope to continually improve my skill vs them, and learn to adapt to how they fight and try to overcome the mismatch as well as I can. For anyone wondering what my gear score is: I am 210 AP/ 280 DP. I have full TRI boss gear (No dande yet, and using heve helmet), with duo/tri yellow accessories. When people say that I cannot beat them based upon some sort of "mechanically designed" mismatch, that just makes me want to prove them wrong even more.
As far as the open world PVP aspects go, I am am bit indifferent. It is fine for me, until you get to the desert. To me personally, the jail system makes no sense. I don't think that players should be punished for defending a grind spot by having to sit in jail for 30minutes, or try to escape. I realize that it was initially implemented to circumvent the aspects of crystals breaking if you are red, but I still don't like it. From what I have experienced, it seems that the jail system actually discourages PVP in the desert. If you go to a bell server for example, you may see 10 players all fighting over main rotation on nagas, and not a single one of them will dual/flag on another. Because they will be punished by doing so.
The karma system is also kind of confusing to me. I understand that the amount you lose is based upon gear score difference, but I never understood why the positive cap is only 300k, while the negative cap is 1 million. Personally I believe that the karma system in this game is pretty useless for the most part. Karma bombing should also be fixed somehow, but I have no suggestions or ideas on how to improve the jail or karma systems. Balancing something like this is extremely hard. You can't look at how it will affect the majority of the player base, you have to examine how the outliers play and abuse the systems. And when you do that, it makes most ideas or options seem useless.
All karma related things aside, the fighting aspects of PVP are beautiful, and I love it.
PVM Not much to be said here honestly. World bosses, grinding alternatives, beautiful and diverse environments, what is not to love. The most recent addition of Marni Stones kind makes me want to prefer Marni content over most other things, but I am often drawn back to places like Manshaums just because of how visually pleasing the region and monsters are. Although there are places that make the MOST money possible, I like grinding in other places because for the most part, they seem pretty close to me (or I can get different things from training in different places). For a while in Oldschool Runescape, if you weren't doing Zulrah 24/7, you were wasting your own time because nothing compared to the money and assets that you acquired from doing the same thing over and over. I like different areas reward based upon different things. If you go to Kamasylvia it is best if you grind with other players, if you go to pirates you need boats and Artisan 2+ trading to best utilize your time, and if you go the desert you may earn less money but you have the chance to obtain Pila Fe scrolls to give you memory fragments! I love having options in this game.
Updates and the Pearl Shop I am fortunate enough to be able to spend some of my money on this game to buy things like maids/pets/weight/value packs etc, but I can understand how difficult this game could be to those who may not be able to spend money on this game. As far as my complaints go about how our North American publisher communicates and conveys details with our community, it coincides with most of the other complaining posts that you see everyday. The only thing that I want to say on the matter is that I believe people need to try and truly grasp the fact that our North American publisher doesn't have direct control over what we get or do in our region. A game that I believe found a way to balance their updates extremely well, is Maplestory. Nexon broke their game into not only separate regions, but separate game builds. This means that the different regions had control over the pace of their progression, content, and other aspects of the game. For example, if Maplestory were to be released in a new region, the developers would allow the controllers of that region to progress in accordance to not only their in-game community, but also according to their IRL economic situations.
The major problem that I see with BDO is that the different regions of this game have different quantities of items that are readily available, levels of access to certain things, and reliability on different aspects of the game that other regions may not. BUT the developers release the SAME patches and content for each region! Nothing is based on regional necessity or state of the game. This honestly baffles me, and from what it looks like currently, I don't see anything changing in terms of game access and content control being given to regional publishers; which is disappointing. In my own opinion, I think that regional game control will allow for more reasonable and balanced content release, as well as being more economically beneficial based upon currency and economical differences.
Life Skilling I honestly do not life skill a lot, but when I do, it is refreshing. Being able to cool down after long grind hours and make some extra money without being as mechanically intense, is really awesome. There is also so much to do! I can chop wood, fish, cook, craft, control an entire empire, and fight monsters on a damn ship if I wanted to! How cool is this game, really. It reminds of those old feels I had when I first stepped foot in to my first MMO, Runescape. The reminiscent feeling of completing tutorial island for the first time and learning all of the skills of game, was a close experience to how it felt to being both overwhelmed and humbled by the amount of content, diversity, and knowledge that this game has to offer.
The Community and Guilds I love this community. I have been able to rely on both the reddit and in-game players to help me with my earlier questions about different game specifics. For the most part, players are pretty friendly when it comes to respecting grind spots, allowing me to party with them at world bosses if I we are dec'd on, and open to giving me tips on how to perform in PVP vs them. Just last night, I was casually going by a grind spot at Centaurs and I saw a berserker. I knew that it was his rotation, but I said to myself "You know, I really don't run into zerkers that often, and I want to see if this guy will PVP with me". In short, I flagged up and got my ass handed to me multiple times. The guy was named Waco I believe, and he was from ManUp. If you end up reading this, thanks for being friendly about it afterwards. He was a really friendly guy and gave me insight on the zerker v. musa matchup. Also, a quick shout out to my first guild, TROPA. You guys were ever so helpful and friendly to me in my early stages of the game. You guys recruited me when I didn't meat the gear requirements at the time, and you taught me many aspects of the PVP side of the game. I recently ran into you guys a few nights ago at node wars, and ended up having a conversation with a few of you who remembered me from being there! If any of you read this, I left the guild because of the language barrier (Tagalog vs. me being a native English speaker). However, I wish you all nothing but the best! Lastly, I'd like to thank my friends over at Axiom for taking me in a few months ago. I've made a lot of friends here and I hope that we can keep improving each other to reach our goals!
Honestly everyone, as much as you may argue with each other in-game or on the reddit, you all stand together about the important issues when it comes down to bettering the community as a whole. I love you all for that.
If anyone has come this far from reading this very long rant. I hope that maybe we have shared some similar experiences or have alike opinions! Feel free to share your stories! I'd love to read them. Thank you everyone, and thank you for playing this game with me. I hope you all have lead great lives and succeed in all your in-game endeavors! NEVER GIVE UP! I need to go now because I have to conjure up some kind of method to somehow write a 5000 word paper in the next 4 hours. Have fun!

EDIT Whether you upvote or downvote is up to you ofcourse- but lurking breaks my heart. Please drop a comment about what you thought as you read this. With over 1,500 views and only 22 comments- I'm a little put off.
I still check this thread for updates months later, I have enjoyed reading every comment
Hi there.
My name is Leeland and this is going to be quite a story. I will be hyper linking things here and there- so you may want to read through once before getting distracted on these tangents.
As stated in the title- things at home were rough:

• No running water till I left home- A lot of people will ask if I am American at this point, but you'd be surprised at how often families in the south have a well they can't afford to fix. My childhood went by in blissful ignorance. We bathed one-two-three times a month in the Lake Shower stalls, washed our clothes by hand, and bought water or filled empty milk jugs in bathrooms at Walmart.
  • I like to interject humor in dark places so the reading isn't dry and hopeless- so if you just want the meat of the story skip the next two paragraphs-

My most embarrassing moment was my 10th grade year in high school. Like most impoverished families- we had an absurd amount of dogs and cats. The cats are outside cats. One morning before school as I was about to run up the long rocky path to my bus stop, I saw a tom cat marking his territory on my bike. Indignant, I kicked at him. (not violently mind you) Little did I know I'd taken the bike's place. The bus stop, being outdoors meant plenty of air circulation, which meant I didn't know I was doomed until I got onto the bus. The moment I sat down, the most pungent smell hit my nose. I realized within a few minutes of blowing it away from me and it returning that it was my pants that smelled of cat piss. Although I was not sitting with the other children, the smell filled the entire bus and it was't hard, I imagine to determine its source given the few students we picked up after me.
I managed to bluff my way through 3 periods that day. In between each class I went to the bathroom trying to wash out the acrid smell. It ofcourse didn't work. I only managed to draw curious stares from people at the wet mark on my pants in the halls. Some may ask why I didn't bother to call family and ask for new pants, but you must remember- we are poor. When I turned 16 we didn't even use gas to teach me how to drive- much less would we be willing to spend gas on bringing someone pants. Plus my step dad......well. We'll get back to that. It was in 4th period, just after lunch that my teacher walked into the classroom. I was sitting toward the back, at a table shared with 3 others. The very moment he crossed the threshold he stopped, wrinkled his nose and proclaimed loudly: "Ugh. What's that smell? It smells....like a cat's liter box.." And pray tell, does my dear sweet Arts and Humanities teacher stop there? Oh no. He literally follows his nose to my table- where he stands in front of me and my 3 classmates, looking out past us.
"it's coming from here...."
It must have been at that point that he realized he was about the end someone's social life, because he dropped it quite promptly there. It was the most awkward moment I have ever had.
Now let us continue

• I had an abusive life. Let me first state here that my mother is a good woman- with unfortunately poor taste in men. My biological father is a dead beat I've only ever met once. My first step father turned out to be a liar and a child molester. Though we got rid of him early on- it messed my little brother (his real father) up psychologically- and he had to go to counselling for 3 years. Apparently I was molested as well, but I have no memory of it. Thank God. I got 1 brother and 1 sister in that short marriage. The 3rd and final 'father figure' in our home was a man who lived with his mother well into his 30's. We moved in with them, as my mother had no place to go. So realize here and now before you judge her too harshly- that if we left this place- finding a new place to live we could afford would be very difficult. Especially as a single mother who has 3 children.

The first few years were OK. But something changed as I turned 9 and then on, to this day I don't really understand it. Maybe he was always this way, but my innocent years shielded me from his ignorance.
Being the spiteful man that he was- my step father would often accuse me of this or that. And truthfully- I was 95% of the time innocent of these accusations. Ofcourse I would deny them, but it's his word against mine. Often I would be given an ultimatum; "I'm not going to tell you what you did, because you always lie about it anyways, if you admit to what you did wrong, I will not punish you as badly, but if you lie I will make your punishment worse"
Ofcourse I proclaimed innocence. And I paid for it dearly. He would practice 3 types of punishment. All of them included me being out of sight and mind for hours:

• pull your pants down, remain bent over the couch (living room where everyone who walks by will see you) until I come to spank you. Sometimes I would be there for hours, scared of the lashes I didn't deserve. It was terror at first, humiliation hours later.
  
• Stand in the corner of the cabinet that hasn't been dusted behind in literally 10 years where you can hardly breathe without getting dust in your lungs until I conveniently forget your there. I once stood in the corner for 6 hours.
  
• You're grounded. This was the punishment I received most often. Being grounded at my home is basically a death sentence. You literally have less rights than a prisoner on death row. I lay in my bed (if you can call it that, thing was so old the fabric had been worn away years ago and I either choose to use the blanket for warmth or use it to protect my side against the springs that stuck out painfully.) until told my time was up. I cannot speak. I cannot read. I cannot even turn over because my 'room' was actually the living room where the TV was and by turning over I would be watching TV so if caught doing so I would be smacked in the face. I had to stay on my side, looking at the same peeling wall paper.....for up to two weeks at a time. I would be grounded so often that I began to notice patterns. If I was not told to get up the morning following my sentence, then I was going to spend at least 2 days, if not 2 than 4, if not 4 then 7. If I ever made it to an 8th day- I gave way to despair knowing that it would be another 6 days.
  

I tell you the truth, there is nothing in this world more depressing than knowing you've wasted your entire day, and that no matter what, when you wake up the next day, there is NOTHING to look forward to
This was the closest I ever came to depression as a child and teen.

• Have you ever seen hoarders? My step father's mother was the last surviving member of her 9 brothers and sisters. She couldn't bare to part with anything, and I can't really blame her, but being as poor as we were, it was cheaper to keep all of these things in the house, rather than put them in storage. Trying to make a 2 person home accommodate 7 people was bad enough. Imagine curtains crusted over with years of neglect and dust, boxes pile to ceiling tiles, which by the way were constantly falling and in need of repair. No matter my age I was very seldom ever allowed to leave the yard or house. We were never given any independence. Never allowed to cook our own food, to call friends, to visit friends or have friends over. These terrible circumstances created in me a very curious cocktail of Social Awkwardness. More on that soon.

Thankyou for the private messages and the comments on this post. The feedback affirms my decision to share, in hopes that my story will help someone out there struggling.

• In addition to an aggressive step father, claustrophobic living conditions, a yearning for independence as I grew and a lack of basic resources that most people take for granted, our family also did without often.

For me- three meals a day was a foreign concept. I had 1 bowl of cereal for breakfast, and a bologna sandwich with a handful of lays chips for dinner. Without exaggeration that was almost entirely my diet growing up. Even when I entered my teens, a time for males where a lot of important growing occurs, I was severely underweight.
Up until last year in fact, at the age of 24, I was 140 pounds....at 6'2. Money was rough not only because of the size of our family, (step father, Mother, step grandmother, 2 sisters and 1 brother + me + numerous animals that we had no business keeping the first place) money was an issue because my step father refused to work. My mother ended up becoming a truck driver so we could afford to pay for life's many needs, and this meant she was home rarely.
This also meant that I had to endure more hardship without my mother who was often my only shield against the injustices I had to suffer.
One of my most cherished memories of this time was at 15 years old. Grounded. Mom came home after two weeks on the road in the middle of the day. It had been dark in the living room all day. When she opened the door light flooded in and for a brief moment I felt free. Seeing me in the bed she knew immediately that I got into trouble again, but whether it was my fault or not, she knelt beside me, wiping the tears from my eyes.
She told me; "*One day we'll leave this place Leeland, just put up with it a little longer I promise you."
One day turned into years though, because when you're poor and have always been poor, and your parents before you and those before them were poor, life like this becomes a cycle.
At 17 I was becoming a man. I was beginning to open my eyes and see the way other people my age lived. I was consumed with bitterness. SIDENOTE I also masked that bitterness quite well. I was President of the Writing club and Vice President of the Arts Honors Society, not a single friend at school knew what I suffered at home.
Why do I have to deal with this?
How do I escape?
The truth is I had been offered a way out two years ago. (15)
Let me tell you about Miss Billy Sue Kibbons.
The following is an excerpt from a Facebook note I made a few years ago:

*"I want to be an artist"
The boy had decided this with absolute certainty and naivety at the tender age of 8.
It would be many years before he realized that 'artist' was too broad a term, that he still had much to learn, and that he had no idea what he was getting himself into.
All he knew about the world of art at that time was Bob Ross and the Cabin that an ancient woman taught him in once a week.
Billy Sue was her name and Leeland, even at his young age, thought that to be an odd name for a woman. It might have been a stroke of luck, fate, destiny or whatever you believe in that brought the two of them together, but Billy Sue would say it was God, in His infinite wisdom.
That might have been the intention of the Teacher from Leeland's Elementary school who anonymously sponsored him to take these after school art lessons with Billy Sue.
Even 14 years later to the time that Leeland was writing these words he never knew the Teacher's identity. This left him with no one to thank and he worked all the harder in hopes that this Teacher would one day hear of his success and know that she had made a difference.
Years down the road Leeland would speculate just why he had been sponsored, knowing that while he was talented, he was no prodigy.
Billy Sue taught Leeland many things about art, but none of that would have saved him the way only she and her husband, Jerry could. When Leeland had spent 5 months with Billy Sue she began taking him to church with her. Leeland found Christ not long afterward. (I do apologize is the C word offends anyone, this is not me shoving religion down your throat, this is just part of my journey)
When Leeland was 10 years old he got his first allowance ever, working in Jerry's yard. Over the next 7 years he would learn neat landscaping techniques, the names of flowers and how to care for a lawnmower. These things are not meaningful to a normal child, but for Leeland, who grew up in a home that stifled independence and most learning, any excuse to get out of the house was treasured.
Jerry and Billy Sue Kibbons provided Leeland with 2 days out of the week that he could leave the house. During Summer and Winter breaks this was most always the only time he would have outside his home.*

As you can see- these two people made an exceptional change in my life, and of all her students, I was the only one Mrs. Kibbons took such a special interest in.
My tutor was very aware of my circumstances at home. I begged her not to call child services. I loved my mother, though she would constantly disprove of the way my mom raised me and the poor choices she sometimes made.
When I was 15, she and her husband sat me down after a long day of landscaping and let me know- that if I were willing- they would allow me to move in with them. They just wanted to give me a stable environment at this crucial part of my high school life.
I should have accepted. But when you are poor, and suddenly very aware of how poor you are- sometimes there is guilt associated with accepting help, even from those you know love you.
And so I endured another 2 years of consistent abuse at home.
My mother had been arguing with my step father a lot around this time. Mostly about me and how to appropriately deal with me. She had convinced him to at least put me to work doing chores, instead of wasting my time away in a bed for weeks at a time.
I should have been grateful for such a break through, but wouldn't you know, he intended to take full advantage of this new rule.
There are two examples of this type of punishment:

• Many parts of our large yard were overgrown with baby Chestnut Oak trees. They have very long roots. Most of our soil was comprised of clay. My job? Pull up over 1,000 baby trees, bare handed, without tools until I was allowed to go to sleep. This punishment lasted the entire evening. I wept with anger that night at the injustice. I screamed at the top of my lungs at God, the fates, whatever. I was getting sick of my circumstances and my long long long long oh so long fuse was nearing it's end.
  
• One day my step father walks into the house. Over many years of bad experiences with him coming home- I'd learned to shrink away into non existence in his presence in hopes that I would go unnoticed and unprovoked. I was not so lucky this day:
  

He came home. The first thing he says as I turn to my name being called: "You're being punished. I don't need to tell you why, you already know what you did. You know all that trash (please note this is a picture taken several years after the fact, the trash you're about to learn about was much much MUCH more) that's been piling up outside? The recycle center is giving everyone 3 days to throw out their trash for free. Get to work."
Since we're poor, we burn our trash. Many things cannot be burned or are unsafe to burn. Examples include air freshener cans, glass, tin, copper, aluminum cans, etc etc. Ever since I could remember we'd never moved those trash piles. Easily 12+ years of garbage was piled at the burn pile and behind/beside the milkhouse (this picture shows what it looked like after I cleared all the trash. The rusty freezer was full of mosquito infested water and broken glass and rusty metals, imagine 6 of those full, that's how much garbage was piled around the milkhouse, and that was not even half of the total garbage.)
My job was to bare handed, and with no help or tools, sort through all our accumulated garbage, sort it into 3 piles and then bag it (not double bag, safer for me and more expensive for him). After I bagged the extremely sharp glass and various other items, I had to wrap my hands around each bag for fear that it would split and then I'd be in trouble for wasting bags- and waddle the bag across the yard, up a hill, and up the long rocky drive way to a single care trailer.
We all know how long one of those is right? I had to pile big black trash bags from end to end, 3 stacks high before I finally finished.
Keep in mind it's the middle of the summer in the South. Snakes, venomous spiders, wasp and yellow jacket nests are very very real dangers when going through so much garbage that has been undisturbed for years.
The entire time I am working, from morning to after it got too dark to see, he was verbally abusing me for 'taking my sweet time' as he saw it in his eyes. He assumed I wanted him to be late for the deadline. Paranoid, this guy.
When I finally finished my work, more than 8 hours before the deadline, he was not home. He was at a friend's house, helping them with THEIR garbage. He comes home 6 hours later, takes the garbage off without a word, and when he returns later that night....
He still has the garbage. So what does he say to me?
"I know you were taking your time with this punishment. Because of you I was late and couldn't take the trash off. Later I'm going to make you unload all the garbage off the trailer. For now I have to think of an appropriate way to punish you for making me late. Until I think of a punishment, you're going to lay in bed."
These thoughts passed through my mind very quickly, please pardon the language:

• Not only did I work my ass off for 3 fucking days. I did it all on the made up accusation that I did something wrong.
  
• Not only did I do time for something I was likely innocent of, but this bastard harassed me the entire time I worked and then when I finally finish my job on time he has the nerve to blame me for his poor time management.
  
• On top of ALL this- he's not only going to punish me for his mistakes, he's going to make me lay in the bed, suffering more, all the while looking forward to yet another punishment.
  

......
.....
....
"No."
Step father turns around, after walking off expecting me to blindly obey as I always have.
"What did you say??"
I stand up.
"I have the right to know what I did wrong in the first place to earn all of these punishments. This isn't fair."
By this time my voice is shaking. I'm a very thin kid* (* I'm the one in blue.*) He's not quite as tall as me, but he is much stronger and better fed than me. For those interested, this is me today*
But I'd had enough. So many years of injustice. I felt like Harry Potty finally giving the Dursely's a piece of my mind.
He walked toward me. I held my ground. I'm 17. Nearly a man grown. It's time to make myself heard right?
"You will do as your told. I do not have to explain myself to you. You always deny the things you do, it's a waste of my time!"

"Well what about my time? Why should I give you so many days of my life for something I didn't even do? If I actually did something wrong then you can explain it to me. I won't budge from this spot until you TELL ME."
I said those last two words forcefully. Not out of disrespect, but as a testament to my resolve.
My step father has always been a hothead. He grabbed me by the shoulder and forced me outside. I wasn't wearing anything except gym shorts and my glasses.
He shoves me outside. Every step he took put his face within inches of mine as he yelled at me:
"I can't ever trust you, you're always lying..." etc etc (multiple curse words, but there's little point in elaborating.)

It's important to note that to this day I am unsure of what to make of the man. Part of me believes he was actually stupid enough to believe he was in the right. That's doesn't make it OK- but it makes it harder to loath him.

Up the side walk we go, he finally let's his rage come to a boil and instead of just yelling, now he's screaming at me to hit him. He wants an excuse to 'defend himself'- but I'm not quite that stupid. Even if I wanted to hit him, I don't have a violent bone in my body. I hate confrontation. I try to solve my problems with passionate speech, because I believe in the power of words.
They held no power for me this day.
Eventually he tries to goad me by attacking my beliefs. At this time he does not believe in a god, and while he's never said anything about my Sunday school lessons, this time he makes it known what a hypocrite he takes me for.
"YOU CALL YOURSELF A CHRISTIAN, BUT YOU ALWAYS LIE, I CAN'T EVER TRUST A SINGLE WORD YOU SA-"
For the first time in my life, I pulled a Gohan and yelled at him.
"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME"
I leaned forward as I yelled this. I made sure he could see the frustration and pent up rage in my eyes.
He smacked my face. Hard. Glasses came off. They lay on the gravel mangled.
Without even a brief pause, I turned from him, and from that life. Without shoes, or a shirt or even decent eye sight I walked away.
Hot tears fell down my cheeks, and I don't even remember what he said. It was particularly offensive and I yell at him again without turning around:
"FUCK YOU!"
Things start to get better
Knowing that if I didn't get off the road soon he was going to try to force me to come back home, I walked to the Youth Pastors house which was close by. I knocked on the door.
He opened it to see a skinny, bare backed, barefoot teen crying uncontrollably that he'd sometimes played basketball with, with a huge red welt on his face.
I looked at him through teary eyes hardly daring to think about the life altering decision I was making and asked to make a call.
Mrs. Kibbons was there to pick me up within the hour.
My mother was very upset for a few weeks after that. But she eventually came to terms with my moving out.
Mr. and Mrs. Kibbons helped prepare me for College. I got into Campbellsville University where I got to meet and become friends with people from all over the world. (CU offers big scholarships for international students)
For the first time in my life I was able to socialize with people freely, and I was able to commit to events, knowing that if I could get there myself- no one could tell me no. The independence was beautiful.
Life was looking up for once. I thought.
I was wrong.
Sometimes the road to success is riddled with potholes.
After 2 years and Campbellsville University I decided to transfer to IADT in Chicago. I intended to major in Animation, & CU only offered Fine Art.
It was my first time in the big city. I enjoyed the city itself very very much
When I transferred to IADT, I was told that with my 2 years of gen ed courses, I would be able to finish my Associates in Animation within 2 more years at IADT.
After an entire year at IADT I had still not taken a single course for animation. Here I am, 3 years into my degree, and I don't know a thing about what I want to do for the rest of my life. I spoke to my program director out of frustration and concern. I was told then what I should have been told before enrolling at IADT:

Enrollment is at an all time low. The core classes you need to be in are not filling up. Until we can fill the classes >you need to take- you can't take them.

That's fine I guess, but here's the worm in my apple: My financial aid, scholarships and grants were not enough to cover tuition AND my student housing. If I wanted to use the student housing provided by the school (much cheaper than anything else) I would have to take out a parent plus loan. Fine. Do what you gotta do right?
It gets worse. I need class X, Y and Z. They are not available this semester, so if I am to remain a full time student, aka, still qualify for the parent plus loan, which is the only way I am able to survive at this point, then I have to take more classes.
I ended up enrolling in Drawing I. I already had this credit from my time at CU. I sat through an entire semester of remedial drawing for the chance to do their amateur animation final.
It was styled in the way of William Kentridge, where you animate using charcoal and a camera and one sheet of paper. Our requirements were 50 frames, 2 objects needed to move, at least 2.5 seconds in duration and could be of anything.
I decided to take this project seriously. This was going to be my first experience with animation, if I didn't give it everything- how would I know if I was going to enjoy it?
We were given two weeks. We had a cramped classroom where we were expected to work shoulder to shoulder with other students, where the possibility of our tripods being budged, thus making the animation shakey and low quality was too common. I rejected this.
I took my work to the cafeteria and worked all day and into the night. I marked my place with tape and continued everyday to learn this style. I didn't make my goal. My animation ended several hundred frames short of my goal. I expected everyone to go above and beyond the 50 frame limit. When I came to the final to present, I was astounded to see stick man animations crudely done. I do not mean to make my classmates sound bad- but you could tell, this is not what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives.
I submitted an animation roughly 8-14 seconds long, with around 500 frames:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLqaWse_H0E

I knew then that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I was ready to commit many more years if it meant I could learn to be great.
My mother's credit took a hit. Suddenly she could no longer take out the Parent Plus loan for me. I was evicted from student housing. An illegal Mexican family took me in. (I went to school with their son)
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RupGqS7oFqY
I lived in 3 different places that last year of college. I wish I could say I rose above these challenges and graduated. But suddenly I had rent to pay and I had to do it on minimum part time wage- Suddenly I was forced to commute 90 minutes in extreme weather to school and to work. The stress began to pile up, my grades crumbled under the weight. I was placed on academic probation for a semester.
Then my grandmother fell terminally ill. She'd kept it a secret. Suddenly I find out she's road tripping from her home in Arizona to be with her daughter and grandchildren before the end.
I was faced with a difficult decision.
Finish my degree and miss my chance to be with my grandmother who could die any week, or take a semester off?
I was with her when she died. I do not regret it. She like my mother made many mistakes in her life, but she always loved me, and I her.
While I was away from school, my institute announced that they would be merging with Sanford Brown
Not only did they lose accreditation, and would be dropping animation as a major, but they would also be closing their Chicago location once their current students graduated.
I could finish my degree and graduate from a school that no longer exists.... or I could cut my losses.
A Year to Think
When I left for Chicago my mother finally worked up the courage to leave her relationship. She once said to me over the phone that it was not until I left for Chicago that she realized I had grown up. She had always reasoned with herself that by staying with him, she could save up enough money to give us the childhood we deserved. She decided to save what was left of her two daughters childhoods.
And so it was that I decided to stay in Tennessee with my mom for a year, to work a few jobs, save some money and help out where I could.
I was very concerned with my art practice and worried that this year off from school would come back to bite me.
I looked for internships, but everything that had to do with animation requires that I be enrolled in school, even though I was willing to work for free if it meant finally learning.

• I took to sitting at bus stops next to stop lights and practicing speed drawing by attempting to draw as much of a car or cars as I could before the lights turned green.
  
• I did fan art and portraits for commission.
  
• I also networked a lot. Working the drive through of a McDonalds and the carry out of a Papa Murphy's I met hundreds of people every week. I was amiable and looked for opportunities to let important facts about myself slip in hopes that someone, sometime would bite. One day a lady found out how much I loved art and recommended me to a tutor she went to weekly.
  

An art tutor? Heh, I have not had one of those for a long time, this could be a real treat.
Understatement of the year.
Turned out my Art tutor was none other than Marion Cook the father of Barry Cook who co-directed Walt Disney's Mulan in 1998.
As you read these words I cannot begin to guess at what each of you are passionate about, but for me, pen on paper is my outlet. Be it words or lines- the ability to communicate is my greatest treasure. When I studied under Mr. Cook I saw dexterity of the hand, the likes of which you will rarely see in life and only when you know to look for it. He was so incredible it moved me to tears.
Finally. I had a Master to teach me. I felt like Ang from Avatar, the Last Airbender. I can finally become GREAT.
I was wrong. Again.
I love my mother, as I have told you a few times, but she often makes decisions I disagree with. She was never very strict with my sisters, and much less so the youngest, as it is often the case with the babies of the family.
My little sister was caught selling weed to the landlord's son.....by the landlord. (Please note I do not judge anyone that smokes, it's your life, I simply choose to not do such things)
We were evicted. We had 30 days to find a new place to live. My other sister was in college and my brother was married a while ago and lives with his wife. So My mom found a place for herself and my youngest sister, but wouldn't you know it? There was no room for me. (new Boyfriend)
I had to come up with a plan. I've always been a person to dream big and when I dream big I put my mind to it.
I decided I was going to California. The animation Capital of the United States.
I started a gofundme, told my predicament and included a short animation. No I will not link it, I did not create this post to panhandle
I raised $2,000 in 1 month. Through a game called League of Legends I hit up a friend of mine in the Marines I'd known online for several years, though never in real life. He gave me the keys to his empty apartment and gave me 6 months of a rent free, bill free existence to get myself set up until he was deployed to Okinawa.
I worked all sorts of jobs in my first year here. (San Diego)
From Target to 7-11, from Telemarketer to Inrest Marketer, from Art tutor on a Military base to King of the Carryout at a Dominos.
No job I came to learn, was too humble for me to work. Income is income. There's never an excuse to not be making money.
I even got the balls to design a fancy resume in Ai, custom business cards and drew up a nice cover letter, and took myself door to door trying to find more work. The goal here was not to find a great job, that would have been an unexpected bonus. The goal was to build self confidence and build up a resistance to rejection.
As a telemarketer I came up with a unique formula for networking. Most people told me to go die in a hole. Understandable, but once every few hundred calls a person would be astoundingly polite- I would ofcourse, without even being asked, place them on the DNC (national do not call list)
Then after hours, I would call them back, inform them that I took the liberty of making sure my company could never disturb then again, then I coached them on how to avoid these calls in the future. Only then, if they were willing, did I venture to introduce myself and talk about my goals in California.
I had very many interesting conversations with complete strangers. Most of them ended in empty hands but a heart full of affirmations.
One call ended up changing my life.
I had the fortune of grabbing the ear of someone who once owned a decently sized tech company in SoCal. He sold it ages ago, and now makes apps in his spare time.
He discerned a bit about me in our phone call and asked me to lunch. Being the very trusting person I am thanks to a childhood of false accusations I agreed.
The subject of competitive gaming came up during our conversation and he asked me why I didn't stream for additional revenue. I confessed I'd always wanted to, but with my background I'd never had that kind of chance.
He asked me to send him a list of what I would need to stream. I sent him the cheapest list I could. He upgraded everything and Amazon'd me the parts. The only catch he said, was that I had to put my computer together myself.
I learned a lot about computers that night. I began my stream with the knowledge that the average streamer gets 1,000-3,000 unique views and 100-250 follows in their first 12 months.
I set my 12 month goal for 100,000 views and 2,000 follows.
Today marks day 212 (month 7) and my stream is at 57,000 views and 2,400 follows.
I do not use those number to brag, but to make a point. People put a lot of stock into averages.
What are averages guys? It's the culmination of many many people's stats. Many people, but not you. Who you are, and what you can do is dependent only upon the amount effort you're willing to give. How BAD do you want it?
When I worked my summer job on base as an art tutor, I worked 40 hour weeks there. I would walk 4 miles home in the Cali sun, shower, and walk to Dominos to work. When I got home I streamed for 5 hours every night with the goal of obtaining 10 follows a day. I treated my stream like a 3rd job.
You've got to become obsessed with the idea of being successful. Pic Related
What am I doing today?
Currently I am looking for a second job.
I am just barely self sustaining. This means I make enough money monthly to stay caught up on bills and pay for food. Never be satisfied for such things. I certainly am not.
I'm working on my very first short film in spare time. Literally working on storyboards every week:

http://imgur.com/VhbHOFf

These are the words:

My mother was 17 when she held me in her arms thinking
That this is the only one in the world that loves me.
Oh My mother was young once too
But her dreams did not come true
and now as she watches me grow
she sits and thinks on the things she hopes I will know
"Oh son" she sighed, "your father never knew..
though living in the moment is never hard to do,
after taking a chance you've got to follow through...
cuz' Love is so much more than a heart that just won't mind,
Every line being redrawn and crossed everytime.."
Oh mother you've taught me so many things
I've listened to your heart and the sad song it sings
Fall far, far from the tree, that's what my mother
Sang to me..

My fervent desire is to finish this in time for mother's day, or father's day if a devious mood takes me.
There is a lot, that I do not know about Animation. I am able to teach myself some things, but I learned early on, that I learn best with a patient teacher with whom I can constantly ask questions.
I need one of those the most. I'm currently trying to learn to drive. Transportation has been a major problem in my life, and at 25, I can no longer blame circumstance for having put it off for so long.
The point of this post wasn't to give you the underdog story of how I magically became super successful, it was to show you that despite so many setbacks, and I only told you about half of them- I keep moving forward.
Remember Rocky.

It's not about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward, how >much you can take, and keep moving forward, that's how winning is done!

What can be more inspirational than a story about someone's life struggles, and how despite it all they still have the balls to look life in the eye and ask for more? I'm right there with you guys, never quit, never give up.
Some people have pm'd me to ask what I'm good at- So I will shamelessly plug myself for a moment:

• Graphic Design
  
• Art tutoring
  
• English Tutoring
  
• Writing (creatively)
  
• Public Speaking
  
• Customer Relation/Service (even at the carryout of a Dominos, I average $5-$20 in tips a day because I own it. I know how to make the customer smile, and I reject the overused jargon my coworkers spout. I even take the time to learn conversational Hindi, Mandarin, Vietnamese, Spanish and Tagalog in an effort to connect with the many different cultures represented here in Mira Mesa.
  

Reddit's 40,000 character limit bugged
Here is the rest of the post in the comment section
I don't know what you guys are facing, but it begins one day at a time.

The best time to plant a tree was a hundred years ago- old African proverb

/end
This was a pleasure typing out. If you'd like to get to know me- that can be done so here

Season 1

• Akashia - The name is from the vampire Akasha from the movie Queen of the Damned based on the novel by Anne Rice played by Aaliyah. She likes vampires and has dressed up as Akasha for Halloween.
  
• BeBe Zahara Benet - She always loved the name BeBe, so BeBe Benet just came in her mind. The name is very French, fashion forward, and dynamic. She then wants something exotic which would tie her with her roots and flowed well. After going through names, she decided to go with Zahara.
  
• Jade - She didn’t have a name for her first show, so the name Jennifer was offered due to her love for Jennifer Lopez. She thought it was too common and decided to shorten to Jay. The show director mispronounced it as Jade, which she liked it better. Later Facebook required a last name, so she used her real last name and now goes by Jade Sotomayor.
  
• Nina Flowers - First performed under her real name Jorge Flores and then changed to a more feminine name when she entered her first pageant Miss Puerto Rico Continental 1999. Nina is from Nina Hagen, her favorite rock star, while Flowers is her last name in Spanish. She thought Nina Flowers sounded funny but possessed a lot of charisma at the same time. Her drag mother is Alex Soto.
  
• Ongina - Her friend suggested using her middle name Ong, which is her mom’s maiden name. She then put Ong with the “last three letters of a certain kind of –ina” and formed Ongina. At first she came up with Pek Pek Galore (Pek Pek means vagina in Tagalog and used that name for around 1-2 years before her 21st birthday when she became Ongina) and Ryana. Her drag mother is Gretchen from Lucky Cheng’s.
  
• Rebecca Glasscock - Rebecca is her best friend’s name. She used to read out loud to practice her English while her drag mother Misty Eyez drives. She was reading a gay magazine’s pen pal section and said this guy is perfect for Misty Eyez “6’ 4”, blonde hair, blue eyes, muscular, tattoos, kind, considerate, compassionate you can write me at inmate number…” and his last name was Glasscock. They both thought that to be so amazing and decided to make it her drag name. She first went by the name Roxy Lame.
  
• Shannel - The name is from her first Siamese cat which was named Shannel. She thought that it was suiting, sexy, and sensual.
  
• Tammie Brown - She wanted to use her real name as Keith Glen Schubert or Glen Schubert like RuPaul. But the queens in Corpus Christi, Texas said she needed a drag name. One night she and her friend were doing a three way call and playing telephone tricks to a boy she liked. The caller ID said Bob Brown (her friend’s stepdad’s name) when he answered, “Bob Brown? You’re not Bob Brown! You’re Keith Glen!” She answered, “Well I can change my name to be Tammie Brown!” When she was younger, she loved Tina Turner and the movie Tootsie so much she wanted to be Tootsie Turner. She also thought of Esmeralda after hearing it from someone.
  
• Victoria “PorkChop” Parker - She started as Victoria René Parker since a pageant girl had to have three names in the 80s and 90s. Her given name is Victor, so it was natural for her drag name to be Victoria. Parker is from a former Miss North Carolina Joni Bennett Parker. She got PorkChop from making good fried pork chops and her drag mother Carmella Marcella Garcia saying, “She loves my fried pork chops.”
  

Season 2

• Jessica Wild - She wanted a name that is sexy and easy to remember. Jessica is the name of one of her best friends in high school and she thinks is a sexy name. Wild is used to describe her character’s personality and performance. She said, “I am a shy guy and I am wild on stage.”
  
• Jujubee - Her drag mother Karisma Geneva Jackson-Tae proclaimed that Jujubee will be her name when she did an amateur competition and won. It turned out to be the fruit jujube. She didn’t like the name, but kept it because of its significance to Karisma.
  
• Morgan McMichaels - Since she is from Scotland, Morgan is from Morgan le Fay, the queen of the fairies in Arthurian legend. Morgan can also be a name for a boy or girl. McMichaels came later from her drag mother Chad Michaels and drag father Adam Magee (Chad’s partner), but she wanted to keep it Scottish so she spelled it as McMichaels.
  
• Mystique Summers Madison - She started out as Mystique for three years because she always loved X-Men and since she is transforming from a boy to a girl, she wanted to be a shapeshifter like Mystique. She became Mystique Summers when she did her first pageant under her drag mother Genie Summers. Summers is from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. She then realized the linkage to X-Men with Scott Summers. Madison is from one of her friends in Texas. But she has now gone back to just Mystique Summers, because it sounds better and quicker to say the name.
  
• Nicole Paige Brooks - She started as Nicole Page (initial spelling) with Porsha as her first drag mother. Nicole is the name of a girl in high school she had a crush on and dated (but she just really liked her hair). Page is from Bettie Page as she thinks of herself as a dirty housewife that you can always see through the window but really can’t ever have. Brooks was added later when she moved to Atlanta from her drag mother Shawnna Brooks.
  
• Pandora Boxx - She was into Greek mythology during the time she started doing drag. Pandora was the first woman created and she opened the forbidden box that let out all the world’s evils leaving only man’s hope inside. She liked the story and how the name plays with the idea that you don’t know what to expect. She is a huge Madonna fan and both names have the same amount of letters ending with an A. The extra 'x' in Boxx is for the "X factor".Her middle drag name is Olivia in honor of Olivia Newton-John and so her initials could be P.O. Boxx. She doesn’t really think she has a drag mother and considers Darienne Lake rather like her adoptive mother.
  
• Raven - She used to be a gogo boy and went by the name of Phoenix, because she likes winged creatures. When she started doing drag she was deciding whether to be Raven or Phoenix. Her friends suggested Raven is more unique and androgynous. She also didn’t want a female name where people would call her when she is out of drag in the public.
  
• Sahara Davenport - She started as Sahara Simone. The name Sahara was inspired by one of her favorite performers, Sierra Nicole Andrews. She thought “I’m black, so I should be the African one, Sahara.” She also loved Simone, Nina Simone’s daughter, who played Mimi in Rent on the first national tour. She then became a part of a drag family with Kelexis Davenport as her drag mother which she changed her last name to. Davenport came from Divine’s role as Dawn Davenport in Female Trouble.
  
• Sonique - Her friends first game her the name Heidi, but she didn't like it too much. She also used the name Miss Behave. The name Sonique comes from a British artist name Sonique. She likes the name because it sounds very powerful like sonic powers. She also wanted a one word drag name. Her drag mother is The Goddess Raven.
  
• Tatianna - She was going through all of her CD collection and found an old school Tatyana Ali CD from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. She thought it sounded cute.
  
• Tyra Sanchez - Her full drag name is Tyra-Symoné Sanchez. Tyra means the God of Battle and came from her niece’s name Tyra Nicole. She was born premature and was an inspiration since she fought for her life. Symoné is from Raven Symoné who she admires. Sanchez is from her drag family with Angelica Sanchez as her drag mother.
  

Season 3

• Alexis Mateo - Alexis Mateo is her given name. She figured if she was called by some other name she wouldn’t respond.
  
• Carmen Carrera - Carmen is her birth mother’s name. Carrera is her drag family name with Angela Carrera as her drag mother.
  
• Delta Work - A local bar where she used to go watch the queens were doing a ‘Ladies of the 80s’ night, and they were trying to do the ladies from Designing Women. There was nobody that could do Delta Burke’s character Suzanne Sugarbaker, because they didn’t have a big girl. So she did and the queens said that she totally looked like Delta Burke. Then one queen said, “You better work Delta! Screw Delta Burke! You’re Delta Work!” She considers Raja as one of her drag mothers.
  
• India Ferrah - She started with Jenna Michaels, but thought it didn’t fit her at all. There’s also a queen with a name starting with Jenna and another one ending with Michaels in Roanoke, Virginia (where she’s originally from). She then got a comedy name of Shanita Dickiner. She didn’t want to be a comedy queen, but very diva and high glam. Her first drag mother Montana St. Clair then gave her the name India Ferrah. Her new drag mother is Kristina Kelly.
  
• Manila Luzon - Growing up in Minnesota, most of the people she knew were white and most of the drag queens were either white or black. She thought that bringing Asian heritage to her drag would be fun. She wanted to celebrate her Filipino heritage so she chose Manila, which is the capital of the Philippines where her mother was born. She thinks it sounded pretty. She also liked the idea that “man” was in the name, and Manila has the same number of syllables as Madonna. Luzon is the island that Manila is located on.
  
• Mariah Paris Balenciaga - Mariah was given to her by the father of the House of Armani who recruited her in the ballroom scene. It rhymes with her boy name Elijah so it was easy for her to remember. She was Mariah Armani and then Mariah Balenciaga when she became one of the founding members of the House of Balenciaga. Paris is from her drag family name.
  
• Mimi Imfurst - Her first drag name during high school was Delilah DeMistra inspired by Hedy Lamarr’s character in Samson and Delilah. She liked DeMistra as a play on mistress. When she moved to New York, there was another drag queen named Delilah so she had to change it. She wanted her name to be a pun that is funny. She narrowed down to Heidi Schlong, Wilma Shitstink, Rhoda Dickins, Dyna Cancer, and Mimi Imfurst. Her friend Portia, who was the sidekick on The Wanda Sykes Show said, “If you don’t pick Mimi Imfurst, you’re an idiot.” Her drag mother is Sweetie that played Olestra in Starrbooty.
  
• Phoenix - Phoenix is a mythological bird that rises from the ashes and recreates itself. She thinks the name is perfect for the type of drag she does as she is always recreating her look and pushing herself to the next level. She also sees herself in drag to be very different from her boy self. She also has a fiery personality. Her drag mother is Nicole Paige Brooks.
  
• Raja - Her friend who was working at Disneyland helped choose the name. The movie Aladdin came out and the tiger was named Raja. In Indonesia Raja means king and she was also born in the Year of the Tiger. She thought it would be ironic that she was a drag queen named “King”. It was also the 90s so she wanted a singular name like Madonna or Cher. Raja Gemini (her sign) came later when her drag daughter made her Facebook Page and required a last name. She considers Viva Sex to be her drag mother.
  
• Shangela Laquifa Wadley - She was choreographing Beyoncé’s Single Ladies for three guys doing a charity event. One of the guys got sick the night before the show and her friends asked her to fill in. She was running late for the show and they called to ask for her drag name. She didn’t have one and thinking that it’s going to be a one-time thing, said to just put down anything. Her friend Brad who had worked in telemarketing came up with the name. One time he called this lady and cannot get her name right. The lady said, “Let me tell you something, my name is Shangela Laquifa Wadley and don’t you forget it!” Her drag mother is Alyssa Edwards.
  
• Stacy Layne Matthews - Back in high school she used the name Stacy when talking to guys on the sex hotline and so that name stuck. Matthews came from her middle name Matthew. When she started doing drag her name was Stacy Matthews, but not until when she got on to the show she made a joke to RuPaul and said her name should have been Stacy Layne Bryant. People then just started calling her Stacy Layne Matthews and she liked it. Her drag mother is Chasity Nichols. Stacy Layne Bryant Matthews Lattisaw Q is not her drag name but what RuPaul said in Episode 6. Lane Bryant is a chain of plus-size clothing stores. Stacy Lattisaw and Stacey Q are singers.
  
• Venus D-Lite - She was young and poor when she started doing drag. She didn’t have computer or internet, so she would go to Kinkos to check her e-mail. “And Venus was her name…” from the song Venus by Bananarama was on the radio and she thought that would be a very cool name. She went home to her boyfriend and he help came up with the last name D-Lite.
  
• Yara Sofia - The dance academy she used to work for produced a funny beauty pageant, and she was Miss Cuba. She was told to have a tropical Latin name so she was going to be Yara Sofia Carrasquillo. She chose Yara from her high school friend that was also a dancer who had beautiful legs. She used to wear heels before doing drag and everyone told her she had beautiful legs like her friend. Her friend chose her last name for her.
  

Season 4

• Alisa Summers - She was a huge fan of TLC and her favorite was Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes. Her drag mother Jocelyn Summers suggested adding an ‘A’ to Lisa, and she liked the way Alisa sounded. She also took her drag mother’s last name.
  
• Chad Michaels - Her name used to be Brigitte Love. She did an impersonation of Annie Lennox but people said she looked like Brigitte Nielsen. She always felt that she didn’t identify with a female name. She moved to Las Vegas in 1997 to work with La Cage, and the show required each entertainer to be introduced at the end of the show by their male name. Chad Michael is her real first and middle name, and she added ‘s’ for good measure. She didn’t want to be Chad Michael like George Michael. The name just stuck and she thinks it’s more appealing to a larger market like ‘Chad Michaels as Cher’. Hunter is her drag mother.
  
• DiDa Ritz - She's a big fan of old school Hollywood glamor actresses like Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn, so she wanted a classic glamorous name that would roll off the tongue and memorable. She loves Dita Von Teese and the Ritz Carlton is her favorite hotel, so she put the two names together. Tajma Hall is her drag mother.
  
• Jiggly Caliente - She started off with a very generic girl name of Victoria (she forgot the last name) because she loved Victoria Beckham. With the advice of another drag queen Laritza Dumont to make her name more memorable she changed to Jiggly Puff because she thought she was cute and round like the Pokémon character. But Laritza decided that she wasn’t comical and since she’s a sexy big bitch put “Caliente” for “hot” in Spanish instead. Her drag mother is Chevelle Brooks.
  
• Kenya Michaels - Kenya is from the African country and Michaels is in honor of the choreographer Mia Michaels. She was a dance teacher in Puerto Rico and loves Mia Michaels.
  
• Lashauwn Beyond - Lashauwn is her little sister’s middle name. Beyond means to always go the extra mile and strive for perfection. She also describes her drag itself as being big, beyond, and larger than life.
  
• Latrice Royale - Latrice was elementary school friend who was a beautiful black girl that had gorgeous wavy hair. When she signed up for her first show her friend gave the last name Royale because he said she was “thick and chocolaty like fudge royale”.
  
• Madame LaQueer - Madame was a character from a Telemundo soap opera in the 80s performed by a Puerto Rican actress who was friends with her family. The character was the villain and the head of a whore house. She always wanted to be a mistress of mischief. Queer is from her favorite TV show, Queer as Folk, and it also has a double meaning. Queer is another word for gay and it also means weird. She wanted a name that didn’t project a faithful female image but rather a man that dresses up like one. La was added later to make it sound more beautiful in French.
  
• Milan - In college during Halloween she and her friends got in drag and picked names. They were all in model mode and she picked Milan as she thought that is where all the big models go to. She also wanted a name that was androgynous, ambiguous, and original. She now goes by Dwayne Milan as she was inspired by Chad Michaels and Willam Belli who kept their real names. Her drag mother is Nicole Roberts.
  
• Phi Phi O’Hara - She started as Phoenix Mathews. As a comic book buff, Phoenix from X-Men is the dream person she wants to be. She related to her as the person she has developed into today has risen from the bad times during her childhood. Her friends in Texas also said that she brought fire when she performs on the stage. Mathews is from Tersa Mathews. She then changed to Phoenix O’Hara after her drag mother Asia O’Hara. When she went on RuPaul’s Drag Race, there was already Phoenix on Season 3. The show asked what nickname she goes by, and when she moved to Chicago DiDa Ritz called her by many nicknames including Phi Phi. She thinks Phi Phi O’Hara sounds feminine and fierce.
  
• Sharon Needles - As a teenager, she would move from city to city and changed her name every time including Penelope Pumpkin, Pixie Stix, Franky Freeclinic, Randy Retarded, and Nixon Cuts. She was always interested in the play with word names. She and her brother would get stoned and try to come up with the most offensive drag names. It was a toss-up between Crystal Meth and Sharon Needles. Sharon is like your mom’s name—it’s so boring and unglamorous. When you pair it with Needles, it’s funny and has a great ring to it. The statement of Sharon Needles is horribly crass with the tie to drugs and diseases. Back then there was no Google, so there wasn’t a way of knowing how many other queens came up with the same name. She always says Sharon Needles is like a governor—there’s one in every state, but she’s the President!
  
• The Princess - Even before she started doing drag, she was a prim and proper gay boy. All of her friends would call her Princess. When it came time to do her first show, she told them to call her Princess when she was about to go on stage. A few years into performing she noticed the announcers at drag shows would always put Miss in front of the performer’s name. She thought “Miss Princess” sounded silly and didn’t have the right ring to it, so she added “The” to the name. Due to the way she looks, the name takes on the juxtaposition to what the word “princess” really means.
  
• Willam Belli - When she started out as an actor as part of the Screen Actor's Guild she couldn't get checks made out to a drag name and they wanted the real name to be used. She also believes the best ones don't change their names like RuPaul, Charles Busch, Kevin Aviance, Leigh Bowery, Joey Arias, and Charles Pierce. Her grandfather immigrated to the US from Yugoslavia with the name Filippo, but the nuns of the Catholic school said that Filippo wasn’t a Christian name. Her great grandfather chose William, which was the name of the kid that was in line before them during registration. Their thick accent made them say Villum which turned into Willam. When it came time to name her they spelled it Willam even though it should’ve been Willem. Belli is from her other grandfather who emigrated from the Italian Alps. The word means “beautiful men” in Italian. In some interviews, she said her drag mother is Momma who was Bob Mackie's rental studio manager.^1,2 In other interviews she said that she doesn’t have a drag mother.^3,4
  

Season 5

• Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 - She was really stoned on marijuana with friends in college, and her friends were talking about the different strains that they had smoked in Amsterdam. Someone brought up Alaskan Thunderfuck and she decided that was going to be her drag name. She considers Jer Ber Jones to be her drag mother.
  
• Alyssa Edwards - She grew up in a large family where everyone all had to agree upon a TV show to watch, and Who’s the Boss was the one. She thought if she ever was a girl she would be Alyssa Milano. Her last name came from her drag mother Laken Edwards.
  
• Coco Montrese - Her drag mother Mokha Montrese named her Coco Montrese. Coco almost named herself Paris.
  
• Detox - She called herself Dita when she first started doing drag, because she loved Madonna’s Erotica phase. But she was really young and would get wasted in clubs all the time and her drag mother Mizz Cori and her friends started calling her Detox. She has always gone as Detox. Detox iCunt was what Jackie Beat started calling her as a joke when she moved to Los Angeles, and it just kind of stuck. However, she doesn’t really use the last name.
  
• Honey Mahogany - She got her drag name from the first two shades of Revlon foundation that she matched her skin tone.
  
• Ivy Winters - She always loved the name Ivy. Her original name when she was doing drag in Michigan was Ivy West which her friend helped pick the last name. Her ex, who was also a drag queen, at the time moved to New York together with her and was changing his drag name. She thought that it was a perfect opportunity to start anew in drag and so using her real last name, changed it to Ivy Winters.
  
• Jade Jolie - Jade originated from her active gamer side playing Mortal Kombat. Jade was the character that has the best body and tits, which she wanted to be like. Jolie is from Angelina Jolie who she felt that she is the queen of all queens. Her drag mother is Dana Douglas.
  
• Jinkx Monsoon - Jinkx was her nickname at an outreach center for gay youth in Portland. It comes from the fact that if there’s one in a million chance that something’s going to go wrong it’s going to happen to her. Monsoon came from Edina Monsoon from Absolutely Fabulous.
  
• Lineysha Sparx - Her name came from a combination of the names of two friends from high school. Whilst Madame LaQueer claiming to be her drag mother^1, Lineysha has stated that she does not have a drag mother.²
  
• Monica Beverly Hillz - She started out as Monica Beverly. Monica was the name of an Indian goddess in a Bollywood movie that she loved. Beverly came the movie Pretty Woman as she always had a fascination with Hollywood and wanted to live in Beverly Hills. When she moved to Kentucky she decided to add the Hills and changed the ‘s’ to a ‘z’ because she's Latin and she need to have some spice inside of it.
  
• Penny Tration - Her original name was The Drag Queen Helga because she walked in looking like a Russian gymnast. There was a performer in Oklahoma who had the name trademarked and she was served a cease and desist order. She held a naming contest and the top three were Barb Wire, Penny Tration, and Heidi Salami. She went with Penny Tration because she couldn’t find another queen with the same name on the Internet.
  
• Roxxxy Andrews - Roxxxy is from one of her favorite movies Chicago, and it’s also the name of the first club she ever went to for teen night. The triple ‘x’ came from her friends as they thought she needed a little flair. Andrews is from her drag mother Erica Andrews.
  
• Serena ChaCha - Her friend gave her the name since he said that she was beautiful in drag but also really loud and energetic. It's a combination of a beautiful name with something that speaks of high energy like the cha cha dance. The name would also tell people about her Latino background. She originally wanted to be called Esmeralda but Serena ChaCha translates into both Spanish and English very smoothly.
  
• Vivienne Pinay - Vivienne is named after her southern grandmother. Pinay means “Filipino girl”, as she is half Filipino.
  

Season 6

• Adore Delano - She started off as Violet Valentine. Adore was her brother’s chola friend’s name, where she would go around tagging the name on the walls around the city with spray paint. She really loved that name and used it for her first drag competition. She later added Delano and got it from looking up demonic child names and it was the one that stood out and seem to fit. Delano means “of the night” in Old French (de la nuit), but in other origins it means swamp or anus.
  
• April Carrión - Her name came from the month she was born and her real last name. She kept her last name so she would always make her family proud.Her drag mother is Boanerge Nazario (Bebo) who was the creative director of "The Doll House".
  
• BenDeLaCreme - She was working at a cabaret in Seattle with a different drag name. She did so many things in that cabaret so she changed to BenDeLaCreme. Ben is her real boy name and is a play on “Crème De La Crème” or “The best of the best”. BenDeLaCreme is the best of Ben. She used to perform in Chicago as Teena Angst.
  
• Bianca Del Rio - She was at a bar drunk with a friend in New Orleans. She just started doing drag and her friend said that she needed a name, and mentioned that she reminded her of her good friend named Bianca. Then Del Rio came out of nowhere from her friend also. Bianca thought it was just a good way to explain her eyebrows because she is Latino.
  
• Courtney Act - She and her drag sister Vanity Faire were planning for her drag debut. She wanted to be called Ginger Le Bon, because she wanted to be a red headed, raspy voiced, nightclub singer. Vanity suggested she needed a cute girly name like Courtney. She then slowly said in her Australian accent, “Courtney…Caught in the…Courtney Act!”
  
• Darienne Lake - When she was first painted up, the queens said her name should be Tracy Turnblad because she looked like Ricki Lake from Hairspray. She didn’t want someone else’s name so they suggested Darien Lake—Ricki Lake’s love child with the amusement park between Rochester and Buffalo. She thought, “Well, I am two tons of fun,” and spelled it as Darienne Lake so she wouldn’t get a cease and desist order. She actually thought of using names of eyeshadow colors like Dusty Rose or Heather Sky.
  
• Gia Gunn - Gia came from the supermodel Gia Carangi and the movie Gia starring Angelina Jolie. Her last name came from her drag mother Alyssa Gunn which originated from Project Runway’s Tim Gunn. Her other drag mother is Monica Diva.
  
• Joslyn Fox - She picked Billie Wicked before her first show, as Billie was more of a man’s name and Wicked was a shout out to her Massachusetts roots. Before she went on stage, the other queens insisted that she changes her name. The name that everyone agreed upon was Joslyn. Joslyn happens to be her real last name because the queens knew her as DJ Patrick Allen from her first and middle name. When she was first auditioning for the show they asked for a last name so Fox came later from a friend who saw her walking along a sidewalk and texted saying she looked like a stone cold fox. She liked the way the word describes enigmatic sexiness that can’t be forced. Her drag mother is Lady Sabrina.
  
• Kelly Mantle - Kelly Mantle is her real name. She thought for a split second that her drag name was going to be Brandy Warhol.
  
• Laganja Estranja - She had a drag friend in college by the name of Marqueeta Velveta. She was inspired by the way the name rhymed and also played with the word “marquee”. She is a huge supporter of the legalization of marijuana usage. She wanted a drag name that involves weed, rhyming scheme, and play on words. Thus she is the strange plant – Laganja Estranja. Her drag mother is Alyssa Edwards.
  
• Magnolia Crawford - Her name came from nowhere, and she just made it up. However, she likes to tell people that Magnolia came from the film Steel Magnolias and Crawford is from Joan Crawford and Cindy Crawford.
  
• Milk - When she started doing drag, she took Giselle Peacock from a Latin ballroom dancer that was in a dance series on PBS. She thought the name was ridiculously stupid, but then she wanted a name that was more special and unique. She was with friends at The Cheesecake Factory and they were coming up with silly drag names. Someone threw out Milk for her white creamy skin, and she latched onto it right away. She loved it for three reasons: it was a one-word name, it wasn't a real girl’s name, and it has a lot of puns surrounding it.
  
• Trinity Kardashian Bonet - Her little sister said she looked like Trinity from The Matrix. She loves the Kardashian family as she thinks they are fashion forward. Her last name is from Jasmine Bonet, since she idolized her. Her drag mother is Byanka Monroe.
  
• Vivacious - She got her name from her second grade teacher in Jamaica. Vivacious best represents who she is—full of life and full of energy. When she performs, the audience will get lots of high energy moves from her.
  

Season 7

• Ginger Minj - She needed to raise money when she was going to do her first pageant. She was working at Sleuths Mystery Dinner and the owner offered to sponsor but she has to use the name Ginger Minj as a nod to the company. In Sleuth’s legend, an actor playing Simon, an old Scottish character from the show called Squires Inn, went out to mingle with the crowd before the show. He went up to a red-headed woman and yelled across the room to his co-actor, “Hey Nigel, do you think that one’s got a ginger minge?” The woman happens to be from the UK, knew that ginger minge is a slang for red vagina and punched him in the face and broke his jaw in front of the entire audience. Ginger thinks the name fits her personality very well. It’s a little raunchy and dirty if you know what it is, but still sounds very classy, wholesome, and nice.Her drag mother is Rusti Fawcett.
  
• Jaidynn Diore Fierce - Ever since she was a kid, she has always loved the name Jaidynn. Diore comes from her love of fashion especially the Dior line and she wanted to take a play on words. And since she was fierce, it became her last name.
  
• Jasmine Masters - She chose the name Jasmine from the actress Jasmine Guy from A Different World. Masters came from her drag mother, Destiny Masters.
  
• Kandy Ho’ - She got together with a bunch of friends and started throwing names out. One friend suggested Candy but with a K because she is a sweet person, but her ex said that she needed something to spice it up something raunchy. He suggested Ho with an apostrophe so people can know it’s from whore.
  
• Katya - Her full name is Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova. It is a composite of generic Russian women names and the last name of one of her favorite Russian gymnasts Elena Zamolodchikova as she is obsessed with gymnastics. She chose a long name that would be difficult for people to spell or pronounce.
  
• Kennedy Davenport - She started off as Mia. Kennedy was given by her drag mother, Kelexis Davenport, who said that it was a unisex name and appealed to different audiences. Davenport came from Divine’s role as Dawn Davenport in Female Trouble. Her other drag mother is Champagne Bordeaux.
  
• Max - Max came from her real name Max Malanaphy instead of a drag name because nothing felt right and he felt that he need the authenticity. She goes by only the first name because she felt that Malanaphy is a silly drag name.
  
• Miss Fame - After reading The Secret which talks about the law of attraction, she wanted to set her intentions for greatness and attract success. She wanted a name that femme and powerful so she came up with Fame Fatale. Shortly after Britney Spears came up with a similar album name Femme Fatale, she decided to adjust her name to Miss Fame.
  
• Mrs. Kasha Davis - Her drag name is a combination of her first pet, a white angry poodle named Kasha, and the first street she grew up on which is Davis Street in Scranton, Pennsylvania. The Mrs. part came from her drag mother Naiomy Kane who said that she’s prude compared to the other queens and since she’s married to Mister Davis.
  
• Pearl - She was watching The Sweetest Thing, which is a horrible romantic comedy that she hates to admit that she loves. There’s a scene where there’s a grandpa talking about how he loves a woman and she was the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Another guys goes “Oh you really miss grandma huh?”. The grandpa goes, “Fuck grandma, it’s Pearl I’m talking about”. She has this vision in her head of Pearl as a crazy bitchy old lady that fucked her grandpa and took all the inheritance money.
  
• Sasha Belle - Her first drag name was Frisbee Jenkins, and then she decided to change it. Sasha comes from Beyonce’s Sasha Fierce. Belle is from her drag mother Pretty Belle.
  
• Tempest DuJour - Tempest an homage to her professional career in theater and is inspired by William Shakespeare’s The Tempest. Tempest is a noun and a verb, where it insights mental imagery of something strong and powerful and a natural force. She wanted a last name that is very campy and kitschy. DuJour is from her Deep Southern roots, where she thought a person from those areas would think is a super fancy French word without really knowing its meaning or is the only French word they have heard. When you put it with Tempest, it literally means “Storm of The Day”. When she first started drag, she was going as Vaginasaurus Rex.
  
• Trixie Mattel - When she was younger she had a rough relationship with her step dad, and whenever she was acting effeminate he would call her a Trixie like it was a slur. When she was 18 she had to step in for a person who played a drag role in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It just so happened that the character’s name was also Trixie which felt like fate. She started as only Trixie, but nobody really knew her name so they call her as the new girl who looks like a Barbie doll. So later Mattel is an homage to Barbie--her number one visual inspiration. As a child she wasn’t allowed to have a Barbie so she became one.
  
• Violet Chachki - Her original drag name was Blair. She then changed to Violet after watching Jennifer Tilly in the movie Bound playing a sexy money hungry lesbian rocking Christian Louboutins and Chanel. She loved how devious and mysterious her character was. She wanted her drag character to have a nod to mid-century women, dark and mysterious, and beautiful to look at. That’s where Chachki came from which is the slang spelling of tchotchke, a Yiddish word for a strictly decorative object with no function. Her drag mother is Dax ExclamationPoint.